Waterbowl – Round 10

Bad for your Elf

The snotlings ducked to avoid the hurled cast iron pot, cowering again as it hit the ground with an almighty crash.

“You were given one job!”

Still sooty faced, the pint sized creatures tried scurrying away from the indignant head coach of the Shreking Balls. A wine jug was hurled next, the arc taking it into a smashed heap on the floor. As the snotlings fled the room, Günther Weyrauch slumped into his chair. The only solace he had was the art gallery fire wasn’t linked to the team, they could barely afford the team’s upkeep without any fines being accrued. Günther’s skin drained of all colour as the realisation set in. They would have to play against a full strength Har Ganeth. And a healthy Belphegor.

Günther needed a lie down.


A knock on the door woke the Head Coach from his sleep. Groggy from his rest, Günther Weyrauch stumbled to the door. The brightly clothed man flamboyantly produced a letter and began to read, “Dear Misser ‘ead Coach, I iz afraid dat I cannot make dis game. I ‘ave a touch of the ‘alfling ‘ot Trots. Sorry, Bomber Dribblesnot.”

The messenger rolled the letter up and handed it to the bemused head coach, “I believe I had the pronunciation correct there, Sir, have a nice day.”

And with that the man turned on his heels and headed off towards town. Günther could feel his stomach knotting. Hoping it was merely the nerves of the forth coming game, and not another batch of the stomach flu.


The tension in the stadium was palpable as the team entered. The news of the injury to Cuchilo, Har Ganeth Reivers’s star Assassin, came as an unexpected blessing to the Shreking Balls team. Günther felt a chill down his spine as he heard the menacing war cries of the predominantly Dark Elf crowd. The servants of Khaine were in a particularly bloodthirsty mood.


The fiery eyed gaze of the Dark Elf team was matched by the glazed over look from the Ogre front line. The slow witted Ogres were left grasping at air as the agile elves began their attack. With barely a flick of the wrist, Belphegor deftly passed the ball downfield. Mab leaped into the air, plucking the ball to her chest, and running in for the first Touchdown of the game.
1-0 with barely any time on the board. The Ogres were confused. Snots argued with each other. Ferdinand was still tying his boots.

Günther Weyrauch raged on the sidelines, the tightening of his stomach returning. He beckoned for Winda to come over, the only snotling capable of a little Reikspiel.
“Get the ball! Stop fighting with each other!” he bellowed to the nonplussed snotling. As Winda ran back onto the fied, Günther trotted off to the backroom lavatory.


Both teams lined up for the kickoff. As the ball went skyward, the elven speed was back on show. Before the Ogres could react, the Dark Elves blitzed forward. Weechee was knocked away by the momentum of the onslaught, and the Kar Ganeth Witch Elf, Kali, caught the kick to begin a dangerous Druchii attack.

With a grunt the Ogres snapped out of their confusion and started an aggressive attack on the elves. Bodies flew and bones were broken in the assault. The next few minutes were a blur of violence as the ball was surrounded by the bulk of the Shreking Ball Ogres.

The remaining elves bounced out of the melee and backed away from the frenzy. With no one else to hit, the Ogres remembered the ball in the middle of the scrum. Fungus picked up the ball and ran. Farkle was upfield, scratching his behind, and enjoying the view of the violent crowd. He had barely turned as the ball came flying towards him from the pass from Fungus. Clumsily he grabbed towards the ball, surprised that it landed in his hand, and ran towards the end-zone, dodging away from the final Dark Elf defender before scoring before the end of the half.


The Touchdown celebrations continued into the locker room with songs and belly beating reverberating around the room. Günther emerged from the lavatory confused at the noise. Whatever he had caught had made him miss the half. Ogres celebrating didn’t mean anything. They’d celebrate all day for seemingly no reason. But there was no use trying a team talk. The celebrations were boisterous and far too loud for any tactical conversations.


Whereas the Ogres returned to the pitch in a jovial mood, the elves appeared scalded and tense. The lines were formed, and the ball was kicked deep into the Shreking Balls half. The snotlings swarmed the ball and they swept it out to the flank, a bulky Ogre wall blocking the elves.

The yellow bulldozer continued down the pitch until an elf managed to trip the ball carrying snot. The snotling lay mangled on the floor, and the ball bounced once again to Farkle’s hands.

The smell of blood changed something in Flobablob, and he quickly sent two Reivers to the injury room. Before long the Dark Elves had only a handful of players on the pitch, smashed aside by the Shreking Balls attack. As the clock ticked down, Farkle scored his second Touchdown of the game, smashing aside a defender on the way in.

The action, or should that be inaction, of the Har Ganeth Reivers angered their fans. Bloodthirsty fans poured onto the pitch, tearing apart the referee, ripping up parts of the pitch, and fighting amongst each other.


The pitch cleared, and a nervous looking second referee on the pitch, the teams returned to continue the game. Deej kicked the ball into play and the teams clashed again.

With seconds ticking down, the remaining Har Ganeth Reivers players sprinted forward. The ball was thrown in a perfect spiral to the outstretched hand of Kali the Witch Elf. The ball tipped just before it reached, leaving the Dark Elf grasping at air as the ball fell to the ground.


The horn sounded and the match ended. The Shreking Balls won the game 2-1!

The rest of the week was a blur of celebration, feasts, and drinking. Günther Weyrauch wasn’t foolish enough to try and step between an Ogre and his feasting. So he spent the week planning alone for the next game, hoping he would catch nothing from the upcoming game against Nurgle.


Visit Element Games here (Use the code DAN2300 at Checkout for double points)

For more Blood Bowl action:

Listen to the Two Drunk Flings podcast here

Listen to the Anything But A One podcast here

Listen to the Double Skulls podcast here

Waterbowl – Prelude to Round 10

Burden of Leadership

Günther Weyrauch sighed. He raised his drink to his lips, took a great gulp, placed the goblet on the table, sunk into his chair. The game against the Amazons was a harsh jolt back to reality after the training week. If heavy was the head that wore the crown, then how about the one working for a maniac Orc?

The snotling server topped up his goblet with Estalian wine, almost knocking the jug over the table. Günther moved his stack of papers out of snotling harm. He had been keeping notes for a while. Strengths of his own players, weaknesses of the opposition, tactics to work on. Even going s far as to pay a youth to spy on their opponents. Whether the lad was caught or overwhelmed by watching the Amazonians in secret, Nuffle only knows.

At any rate the preparation had come to nothing. The Amazons had outworked, outplayed, and outhit the Ogre team. Although one thing came from their training week, a surprising passing play from one of the snots. Surprising as the ball is almost the same length as the snot is tall.

Günther sighed. At least the 2-0 loss wasn’t as harsh as the 6-0, but Elfs were on the horizon again, the Har Ganeth Reivers. He thumbed through his notes. The bounty on Belphegor was well worth the retainer paid to keep Bomber Dribblesnot for another game, and the buying of the sixth ogre… even if he was a few quail eggs short of a luncheon.

The was the game Weyrauch was looking forward to. He despised Dark Elfs. The game plan was simple: Hit hard, Hit fast, Leave only corpses. The same as the Dark Elf raids on his homelands.

“Runt!” he shouted to the snotling server. The snotling squealed and pottered over, still holding the wine jug.
“Uh?” the snot squeaked. Günther was slowly learning that this could mean ‘yes’, ‘hello’ or ‘excuse me’, but found it best to gesticulate in return. This wasn’t always perfect. His imitation of a large ogre had the snotlings bring him the portly priest of a local town.

Günther showed the snotling the illustration of Belphegor. He pulled out a dagger and thrust it into the portrait. The snotling squeaked “Ug”, believed to be a phrase of acknowledgement, and scarpered off.

Günther Weyrauch sipped his drink and smiled, looking forward to the upcoming game



The snotling servant reached the small fire the other snotlings had congregated around.
“ere,” he squeaked, “da boss wantz uz t’ bust up da art gallery.” He shrugged, “Orderz is orderz,” and the snotlings gathered up their weapons.


Visit Element Games here (Use the code DAN2300 at Checkout for double points)

For more Blood Bowl action:

Listen to the Two Drunk Flings podcast here

Listen to the Anything But A One podcast here

Listen to the Double Skulls podcast here

Waterbowl update + FUMBBL

Hello Again


Well I will start with an apology for taking so long to make a blog post. I am aware that it’s been a while. So lets get into what I have been up to


Waterbowl League


In Round 7 my Ogres took on Matt Shaw’s Elven Union team and …… got absolutely decimated.

I despise Elven Union/Pro Elves and came out of this game on the painful side of a 6-0 loss!

Which is why, if I am being honest, I haven’t written a fluff piece on the game. I could barely look at my notes afterwards, And I was happy to take a break during the Bye Week.

Round 9 will be against the always great Ringbeard with his Amazon team, followed by Dark Elves in Week 10


In other tabletop, I helped Ringbeard with his NAFC preparation. He ran Halflings (my new love) against a Nurgle team. The game ended 1-0 to the ‘flings, with me making a mistake in the first half to deny myself a score; I need to count squares away from Treemen.

Getting away from Ogres was a nice palette cleanser, Nurgle being the team that seems to fit my playstyle a little easier.




I am using Halflings in the FUMBBL based SAWBBL league. Even though I am not from the Swindon area, the Halfling Half Biscuit are there to prop up the division.

I am also recording each of my SAWBBL games on my YouTube channel, so check the playlist out there!




I am using FUMBBL a lot more for my Blood Bowl fix. My record on there isn’t the greatest, but this is down to two reasons:

  1. I mainly use Halflings, Nurgle or Ogres
  2. I don’t cherrypick games

Unskilled stunty and Nurgle teams are very difficult to use against teams with even a couple of skills, with them being Tier 2 or 3 in usual tournaments.

The cherrypicking in Ranked games is something that I don’t buy into. I will play against any team, regardless of TV or Tier. This has meant my Halflings have been up against Skaven, High Elves, and Undead of all varieties.

If I was playing it to pad my rankings up, my Halflings would only play other Stunties, for example. But I like to play, so I don’t turn games down.

And speaking of which, if you would like to challenge me, and possibly appear on the channel, sling my an inbox on my Profile Page there.


….and finally


I am proud to announce my membership to the FLING NATION!



With the newly released Halfling team, along with the YouTube channel and FUMBBL, this Waterbowl season will be the last I use anything but Halflings for the foreseeable future!

Special thanks go to the Two Drunk Flings cast for inspiring me in this decision.

I am just waiting for my shirt now!


Visit Element Games here (Use the code DAN2300 at Checkout for double points)

For more Blood Bowl action:

Listen to the Two Drunk Flings podcast here

Listen to the Anything But A One podcast here

Listen to the Double Skulls podcast here