Waterbowl League – Game Week 1

VS

I Like Big Bulls and I Cannot Lie

 

Week 1 in the Lustria Division of the Waterbowl Premier League. My Nurgle team, Detroit Pox City, took on the Chaos Dwarf team, I Like Big Bulls And I Cannot Lie, coached by Dave Minnis (Tintenfisch).

With one inebriated spectator to give it that Blood Bowl tournament feel, the match was on!

Jim and Bob Copyright: Games Workshop

 

Jim Johnson: “Greetings, sports fans! The excitement is electric in the air as we kick off the inaugural game of the Waterbowl Premier League!”

Bob Bifford: “That’s right, Jim. We are looking forward to a few months of violence, madness and occasionally a game of Blood Bowl may breakout.”

Jim: “It’s a beautiful day here as the first game of the blood bowl season begins. On one side we have Detroit Pox City, formerly a touring band and their fan club, now riddled with the diseases of the lifestyle.”

Bob: “Lets just say it’s more than one kind of tackle you should avoid from Belial, their pestigor.”

Jim: “Facing them tonight is the Chaos Dwarf team, I Like Big Bulls And I Cannot Lie. Surprisingly without an aforementioned Big Bull on their team.”

Bob: “Well, it is still Minotaur rutting season, Jim.”

Jim: “That’s not anything we need to witness, or think about, Bob. And here they are standing on the pitch, ready to do battle. I think we’re in for an exciting game.”

Bob: “Eleven thousand fans are here today, although the Nurgle fans seem to have lost their singing voice today.”

Jim: “Hopefully that isn’t contagious, Bob. And the Hobgoblin kicker launches the ball deep into the Nurgle half.”

Bob: “Belial has the ball and a fleshy cage of rotters around him. If he wasn’t ill before, I think he may be soon”

Jim: “As vile as it may seem, that unhygienic mess could be the safest place on the pitch”

Jim: “That was a collision of half bull, half dwarf and half man, half goat. Truly a bloody mismatch.”

Bob: “Truly an awe inspiring spectacle, Jim. Let’s see if he can pull himself together.”

–1 Minute later-

Jim: “Out on the rancid sideline the Bull Centaur falls over three of his four feet and lands face first in the astrogranite!”

Bob: “They’ll be finding his teeth for weeks, Jim!”

-3 Minutes later-

Bob: “It’s carnage in the centre of the pitch, punches and headbuts thrown, a great extravaganza!”

Jim: “There’s an opening, Bob. Maybe that Rotter was an elf in a former life, because he’s breaking down the backfield….The ball goes skyward….And it is caught by the rotter…and it is a TOUCHDOWN!”

Bob: “Lets see if they can untangle those Hobgoblins from Beth the Beast before kick off”

1-0

-HALF TIME-

Jim: “The half time entertainment today brought to us by Hard Block Cafe.”

Bob: “The hard block on the pestigor seems to have been shaken off. Amazing resilience.”

Jim: “That or the masses of maggots holding him together. They’re back on the pitch for the second half. Can the Chaos Dwarfs make a comeback?”

Bob: “And we are off!” 

Jim: “The Hobgoblins are scurrying about trying to move the ball down the field. Will the bloated green line stop their attack?”

-1 Minute later-

Bob: “Belial had that Hobgoblin in his sights with that blitz. He skewered him, Jim!”

Jim: “That is a delicacy in the Southlands, Bob.”

-3 Minutes later-

Bob: “Stomping players may be against the rules, but that hasn’t stopped that Hobgoblin from doing it.”

Jim: “If you aren’t cheating, you aren’t trying, Bob. And if the referee doesn’t see it, all the better.”

-8 Minutes later-

Jim: “With more tentacles than a Nipponese market, Beth is causing trouble for the I Like Big Bulls and I Cannot Lie team.”

Bob: “That team name is a mouthful, and a mouthful of fist is what Ace the Bloater just got from that Blocker!”

Jim: “He’s lost teeth there, but the Chaos Dwarf team have lost the game! The referee blows the whistle for the end of the game!”

 

Final Thoughts

Started the league off well. Next match scheduled is against Goblins, which may not be as high scoring as my 3-2 epic in the Waterbowl Tournament.

After the first night of games the Lustria division looks like this:

#	Coach	Team	Race	TV	Pld	W	D	L	TD	Cas	Pts
1	TheGngrNoob	Detroit Pox City	Nurgle	1030k	1	1	0	0	1	0	3
2	cjblackburn	Max Deadroom	Undead	1030k	1	1	0	0	1	0	3
3	Tintenfisch	I like big bulls and I cannot lie	Chaos Dwarf	1030k	1	0	0	1	-1	0	0
4	Queek	Baltimore Skavens	Skaven	960k	1	0	0	1	-1	0	0
5	douglowe	I, Eldarius	Wood Elf	990k	0	0	0	0	0	0	0
6	Ringbeard	Guardians of Ghrond	Dark Elf	1000k	0	0	0	0	0	0	0
7	narked	Manannsheim Buccaneers	Human	1000k	0	0	0	0	0	0	0
8	The Martian	Lil Green Meanies	Orc	990k	0	0	0	0	0	0	0
9	Chebby	Clipstone Coalminers	Dwarf	1000k	0	0	0	0	0	0	0
10	rollingskullz	Honest To Gob	Goblin	850k	0	0	0	0	0	0	0
11	Jimbob	Kracked Toof	Orc	970k	0	0	0	0	0	0	0
12	Isvan	The Weather Veins	Vampire	1000k	0	0	0	0	0	0	0

So I am in a division with some of the top Blood Bowl players in the country. I’ll aim for 4th place and be happy for an above :500 record

 

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