Waterbowl League – Game Week 1

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VS

I Like Big Bulls and I Cannot Lie

 

Week 1 in the Lustria Division of the Waterbowl Premier League. My Nurgle team, Detroit Pox City, took on the Chaos Dwarf team, I Like Big Bulls And I Cannot Lie, coached by Dave Minnis (Tintenfisch).

With one inebriated spectator to give it that Blood Bowl tournament feel, the match was on!

Jim and Bob
Jim and Bob Copyright: Games Workshop

 

Jim Johnson: “Greetings, sports fans! The excitement is electric in the air as we kick off the inaugural game of the Waterbowl Premier League!”

Bob Bifford: “That’s right, Jim. We are looking forward to a few months of violence, madness and occasionally a game of Blood Bowl may breakout.”

Jim: “It’s a beautiful day here as the first game of the blood bowl season begins. On one side we have Detroit Pox City, formerly a touring band and their fan club, now riddled with the diseases of the lifestyle.”

Bob: “Lets just say it’s more than one kind of tackle you should avoid from Belial, their pestigor.”

Jim: “Facing them tonight is the Chaos Dwarf team, I Like Big Bulls And I Cannot Lie. Surprisingly without an aforementioned Big Bull on their team.”

Bob: “Well, it is still Minotaur rutting season, Jim.”

Jim: “That’s not anything we need to witness, or think about, Bob. And here they are standing on the pitch, ready to do battle. I think we’re in for an exciting game.”

Bob: “Eleven thousand fans are here today, although the Nurgle fans seem to have lost their singing voice today.”

Jim: “Hopefully that isn’t contagious, Bob. And the Hobgoblin kicker launches the ball deep into the Nurgle half.”

Bob: “Belial has the ball and a fleshy cage of rotters around him. If he wasn’t ill before, I think he may be soon”

Jim: “As vile as it may seem, that unhygienic mess could be the safest place on the pitch”

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Jim: “That was a collision of half bull, half dwarf and half man, half goat. Truly a bloody mismatch.”

Bob: “Truly an awe inspiring spectacle, Jim. Let’s see if he can pull himself together.”

1 Minute later-

Jim: “Out on the rancid sideline the Bull Centaur falls over three of his four feet and lands face first in the astrogranite!”

Bob: “They’ll be finding his teeth for weeks, Jim!”

-3 Minutes later-

Bob: “It’s carnage in the centre of the pitch, punches and headbuts thrown, a great extravaganza!”

Jim: “There’s an opening, Bob. Maybe that Rotter was an elf in a former life, because he’s breaking down the backfield….The ball goes skyward….And it is caught by the rotter…and it is a TOUCHDOWN!”

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Bob: “Lets see if they can untangle those Hobgoblins from Beth the Beast before kick off”

1-0

-HALF TIME-

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Jim: “The half time entertainment today brought to us by Hard Block Cafe.”

Bob: “The hard block on the pestigor seems to have been shaken off. Amazing resilience.”

Jim: “That or the masses of maggots holding him together. They’re back on the pitch for the second half. Can the Chaos Dwarfs make a comeback?”

Bob: “And we are off!” 

Jim: “The Hobgoblins are scurrying about trying to move the ball down the field. Will the bloated green line stop their attack?”

-1 Minute later-

Bob: “Belial had that Hobgoblin in his sights with that blitz. He skewered him, Jim!”

Jim: “That is a delicacy in the Southlands, Bob.”

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-3 Minutes later-

Bob: “Stomping players may be against the rules, but that hasn’t stopped that Hobgoblin from doing it.”

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Jim: “If you aren’t cheating, you aren’t trying, Bob. And if the referee doesn’t see it, all the better.”

-8 Minutes later-

Jim: “With more tentacles than a Nipponese market, Beth is causing trouble for the I Like Big Bulls and I Cannot Lie team.”

Bob: “That team name is a mouthful, and a mouthful of fist is what Ace the Bloater just got from that Blocker!”

Jim: “He’s lost teeth there, but the Chaos Dwarf team have lost the game! The referee blows the whistle for the end of the game!”

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Final Thoughts

Started the league off well. Next match scheduled is against Goblins, which may not be as high scoring as my 3-2 epic in the Waterbowl Tournament.

After the first night of games the Lustria division looks like this:

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#
Coach
Team
Race
TV
Pld
W
D
L
TD
Cas
Pts
1
TheGngrNoob
Detroit Pox City
Nurgle
1030k
1
1
0
0
1
0
3
2
cjblackburn
Max Deadroom
Undead
1030k
1
1
0
0
1
0
3
3
Tintenfisch
I like big bulls and I cannot lie
Chaos Dwarf
1030k
1
0
0
1
-1
0
0
4
Queek
Baltimore Skavens
Skaven
960k
1
0
0
1
-1
0
0
5
douglowe
I, Eldarius
Wood Elf
990k
0
0
0
0
0
0
0
6
Ringbeard
Guardians of Ghrond
Dark Elf
1000k
0
0
0
0
0
0
0
7
narked
Manannsheim Buccaneers
Human
1000k
0
0
0
0
0
0
0
8
The Martian
Lil Green Meanies
Orc
990k
0
0
0
0
0
0
0
9
Chebby
Clipstone Coalminers
Dwarf
1000k
0
0
0
0
0
0
0
10
rollingskullz
Honest To Gob
Goblin
850k
0
0
0
0
0
0
0
11
Jimbob
Kracked Toof
Orc
970k
0
0
0
0
0
0
0
12
Isvan
The Weather Veins
Vampire
1000k
0
0
0
0
0
0
0

So I am in a division with some of the top Blood Bowl players in the country. I’ll aim for 4th place and be happy for an above :500 record

 

Visit Element Games here (Use the code DAN2300 at Checkout for double points)

For more Blood Bowl action:

Listen to the Two Drunk Flings podcast here

Listen to the Anything But A One podcast here

One thought on “Waterbowl League – Game Week 1

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