Waterbowl – Week Three and Four Review

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League Table

# Coach Team Race TV Pld W D L TD Cas Pts
1 cjblackburn Max Deadroom Undead 1050k 4 4 0 0 7 1 12
2 douglowe I, Eldarius Wood Elf 1250k 4 2 2 0 5 3 10
3 Tintenfisch I like big bulls and I cannot lie Chaos Dwarf 1240k 5 2 1 2 0 -1 10
4 Isvan The Weather Veins Vampire 1230k 4 3 0 1 0 -3 10
5 The Martian Lil Green Meanies Orc 1200k 5 0 3 2 -3 -1 8
6 Jimbob Kracked Toof Orc 1230k 4 1 2 1 -1 0 8
7 Ringbeard Guardians of Ghrond Dark Elf 1200k 4 1 2 1 0 0 8
8 TheGngrNoob Detroit Pox City Nurgle 980k 4 2 0 2 -1 -1 8
9 Chebby Clipstone Coalminers Dwarf 1130k 4 1 2 1 1 0 8
10 EndoSpartan The Dapper Lycanthropes Necromantic 1250k 4 1 1 2 0 -3 7
11 Adam boo The Bone Idles Khemri 1130k 3 1 1 1 -1 4 6
12 Queek Baltimore Skavens Skaven 1090k 4 0 0 4 -5 1 4
13 narked Manannsheim Buccaneers Human 1000k 1 0 0 1 -2 0 1
14 rollingskullz Honest To Gob Goblin 850k 0 0 0 0 0 0 0

 

My apologies for missing almost a month. My excuse is that I have been researching for a story!

Week 3 Results

Max Deadroom   2-0   Detroit Pox City

I, Eldarius   4-3   Baltimore Skavens

Lil Green Meanies   1-2   The Bone Idles

Guardians of Ghrond   0-2   I Like Big Bulls and I Cannot Lie

Clipstone Cowboys   0-1   The Weather Veins

The Dapper Lycanthropes   3-0   Kracked Toof

 

Week 4 Results

Lil Green Meanies   0-2   Max Deadroom

I Like Big Bulls and I Cannot Lie   2-1   The Dapper Lycanthropes

The Weather Veins   2-1   Baltimore Skavens

Detroit Pox City   0-2   Guardians of Ghrond

I, Eldarius   1-1   The Bone Idles

Kracked Toof   1-1   Clipstone Cowboys

 

Two losses in a row for my Nurgle, with a tough game versus I, Eldarius next.

CJ continues his undefeated streak and, barring a complete capitulation, will be the first name on the qualifying sheet

The first Round 5 game was a marital affair as I Like Big Bulls and I Cannot Lie and Lil Green Meanies played out a 1-1 draw on their holiday

 

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LUSTRIA DIVISION: Kracked Toof   1-1   Clipstone Cowboys

Not a high scoring, but an absolute bloodbath. The Orcs inflicted 6 casualties on their pint sized opponents!

 

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Sponsored by the Two Drunk ‘Flings podcast (Not really)

Waterbowl Halfling News

Mixed fortunes for the ‘flings

The Brandywine Custards drew both their games. A 1-1 draw versus the Wood Elves of TNS was followed by a 0-0 draw with the vampires of The Bloody Oranges. This leaves the Custards in the impressive 7th place of the Bretonnian division.

The Cincinnati Bagels lost their two games 2-1 and 2-0 to Orcs and Khemri, respectively, leaving them on a 0-4 record.

 

 

Visit Element Games here (Use the code DAN2300 at Checkout for double points)

For more Blood Bowl action:

Listen to the Two Drunk Flings podcast here

Listen to the Anything But A One podcast here

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Waterbowl – Week Two Lustria Review

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League Table

# Coach Team Race TV Pld W D L TD Cas Pts
1 cjblackburn Max Deadroom Undead 1060k 3 3 0 0 5 1 9
2 douglowe I, Eldarius Wood Elf 1200k 3 2 1 0 5 3 8
3 TheGngrNoob Detroit Pox City Nurgle 1020k 3 2 0 1 1 -1 7
4 Jimbob Kracked Toof Orc 1140k 2 1 1 0 2 0 5
5 Chebby Clipstone Coalminers Dwarf 1060k 2 1 1 0 2 1 5
6 The Martian Lil Green Meanies Orc 1140k 2 0 2 0 0 0 4
7 Ringbeard Guardians of Ghrond Dark Elf 1130k 2 0 2 0 0 1 4
8 Isvan The Weather Veins Vampire 980k 2 1 0 1 -2 -3 4
9 Queek Baltimore Skavens Skaven 1100k 3 0 0 3 -4 0 3
10 EndoSpartan The Dapper Lycanthropes Necromantic 1000k 2 0 1 1 -2 -1 3
11 Tintenfisch I like big bulls and I cannot lie Chaos Dwarf 1070k 2 0 0 2 -3 -2 2
12 *(1) narked Manannsheim Buccaneers Human 1000k 1 0 0 1 -2 0 1
13 Adam boo The Bone Idles Khemri 1060k 1 0 0 1 -2 1 1
14 *(2) rollingskullz Honest To Gob Goblin 850k 0 0 0 0 0 0 0

*(1) replaced by Khemri Team coached by Adam Boocock

*(2) replaced by Necromantic Team coached by Cammy Shaw

 

Week 2 Results

Baltimore Skavens   0 – 2   Kracked Toof

Dapper Lycanthropes   0-1   Detroit Pox City 

Guardians of Ghrond   1-1   Lil Green Meanies     

Max Deadroom   2-0   Bone Idles

I, Eldarius   4-0   The Weather Veins

Clipstone Coalminers   2-0   I Like Big Bulls And I Cannot Lie

 

Unfortunately we have had another drop out with the humans being replaced by Khemri, making the division a little more bash heavy

 

Week 3 Results

Max Deadroom   2-0   Detroit Pox City

I, Eldarius   4-3   Baltimore Skavens

 

Max Deadroom carry on their unassailable run picking up a win vs my Nurgle. A tough game that saw 6 injuries including 3 deaths, Detroit Pox City losing both Pestigors, while Max Deadroom will be crying for their Mummy.

Two early Week 3 results. Baltimore Skavens scored 3 but are yet to pick up a win after a high scoring game vs I, Eldarius.

 

Week 3 Fixtures

Guardians of Ghrond vs I Like Big Bulls And I Cannot Lie

Both teams go into Week 3 looking to pick up their first win. Guardians will be hiring a rookie to replace the departed Urial.

 

Prediction: 2-1

 

Clipstone Coalminers vs The Weather Veins

Block vs strength 4. This could be a bloodbath, which would suit the Vampires nicely.

The Coalminers go in at full strength, while the Weather Veins are without two thralls after their 4-0 drubbing to I, Eldarius.

 

Prediction: 2-0

 

Lil Green Meanies vs The Bone Idles

The Orcs will be looking to leverage their experience against a relatively young ancient skeleton team. With two draws under their belt, this could be Lil Green Meanies first win.

 

Prediction: 2-0

 

The Dapper Lycanthropes vs Kracked Toof

Marrow Muncher and Line Breaker will have to be the stars they are promising to be if they are to break through the Lycanthrope lines.

The Necromantic team could prove too fast for the Kracked Toof’s Black Orc and Troll defence

 

Prediction: 1-1

 

 

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LUSTRIA DIVISION: I, Eldarius   4-0   The Weather Veins

The most one sided match in the Waterbowl League in Week 2, the high flying Wood Elves dismantled the Vampires, while also causing 3 casualties.

 

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Sponsored by the Two Drunk ‘Flings podcast (Not really)

Waterbowl Halfling News

Both Halfling teams lose in their respective divisions

The Brandywine Custards lost 2-1 to the Khemri team, Barneys Khemri, while also losing the same on casualties.

The Cincinnati Bagels lose their second game 3-0 to The Woody Alan’s Wood Elf team. They managed to cause a whopping 5 casualties during the loss, though.

 

 

Visit Element Games here (Use the code DAN2300 at Checkout for double points)

For more Blood Bowl action:

Listen to the Two Drunk Flings podcast here

Listen to the Anything But A One podcast here

Waterbowl League – Game Week 2

This week we have a special match report from Brianne Tribune reporter Gerard Le Cordonnier

Best of a Rotten situation

There was once a great Estalian explorer, Enrico Ricci. In his great tome, The Old World: Flora, Fauna and Fornication, he mentioned that deep within the jungles of Lustria grows a plant. This plant, when in a stage of infrequent bloom, produces a stench so foul, it could put a troll off its dinner. However I believe a bouquet of them would be a fragrance suitable for The Lady herself when compared to the aroma of a Necromantic Vs Nurgle game of Blood Bowl.

With my skin itching I took my seat. There is an old Bretonnian phrase that “Every village has an idiot.” I had the misfortune of sitting betwixt an entire realm’s worth.

In my years as a travelling scribe I have visited the majestic Altdorf Oldbowl. I have marvelled in acrobatic displays in glorious Ulthuan. I have voyaged deep underground to write on a pair of Dwarven Kings in a grudge series. As I sat upon an upturned stone slab, the breath of an unwashed orc on my neck, I had to remind myself that this was merely a dip in fortune.

The aptly named Dapper Lycanthropes came into this match on the back of a draw against I, Eldarius. Sporting a pair of werewolves, Old Man Jenkins’ the captain flesh golem, one ghoul and a shambling of zombies, they entered the game as favourites. Local bookmaker Mad Patty Power giving them odds of 8/11 for a win.

Detroit Pox City entered the game in high spirits, the ever phlegmatic Bruce Lŭvgŭnn stating, “Win for the Pox God!” Eloquence notwithstanding they walked onto the pitch with all the swagger of a Breton lord after a large supper.

The Dapper Lycanthropes won the toss and elected to receive. From my vantage point the centre of the pitch seemed hazy and the unmistakable buzzing sound of bloatflies set the soundtrack for the game.

The match started with all the pace and elegance of a Halfling wading through treacle, only the double team of werewolves moving at anything resembling speed. But this speed proved to be the undoing of Lysander Puddlesworth as he overshot his run past Belial, Pox City’s star pestigor, who then nudged him into the away fans stand.

The werewolf had been attempting to find space for a pass, get it would have a been in vain as the soaring ball was plucked out of the air by Plăstur-Kăstur.

Detroit Pox City launched their attack. Plăstur-Kăstur lofted a pass to Tomas Parasite who jogged coughing and spluttering towards the end zone.

The midfield was a first fight of dead and rotting flesh, the peg nosed referee eager to take a step back while grounded players were stomped.

Tomas crossed the goal line just as halftime struck, Detroit Pox City taking a One-Zero lead into the halftime interval.

If the smell of the teams was bad then the halftime food stalls were truly repugnant. I surveyed the various pots of untrustworthy broths, with a sliding scale of living and dead creatures, and declined a meal.

The halftime show involved local “musician” Nekrota. Alternating between guttural growls and dog like howls one would almost wish to be dead, never mind undead. Tristan le Troubadour she is not.

After the food and entertainment, words used as loose a bar girl’s garter, I was happy to have a ewer of Friar Benedictine’s elixir to raise my spirits for the second half.

Between halves, The Dapper Lycanthrope’s coaching team managed to sew the various parts of the dead werewolf back together. No doubt adding extras from unwilling members of the crowd.

With a final lock stitch the Necromantic team were ready to kick off the second half.

The kick was short, veering towards City’s left flank. A trio of rotters enveloped the ball as they started their drive up field. Lŭvgŭnn marched forward, ball tucked in the boils under his arm, ready to traverse the carnage ahead.

Five Necromantic players were sent to the recovery box, while the City number 4 was caught with business end of an Old Man Jenkins’ headbutt, crunching him to the ground. Only his ankle remained of Erik Kulick once the body was swept away.

The second half also carried on the bizarre grudge match between Baby Face Tom and Ankh Thayer. Tom hit Thayer. Thayer got up and hit Tom. Tom got up and hit Thayer. Each player getting knocked down and getting back up again. A strange side motif in the game. One that will be sung about by drunken oafs in local taverns no doubt.

With the bloaters, and Beth the bloatspawn, engrossed in carnage, it was a surprise to me that no Dapper Lycanthrope players were sent to their respective injury dugouts. Both teams lucky to not receive more than putrid flesh wounds.

With the time ticking away Lŭvgŭnn crossed to score. Seconds remained as Detroit Pox City kicked off.

The ball was kicked.

A Rotter was thumped.

The referee blew his whistle.

Two wins from two for Detroit Pox City. The third round game against pre-season favourites Max Deadroom will be the barometer of the team. Are they just a flash in the pestilent pan?

The Dapper Lycanthropes are still searching for a win this season and could be in need of a rebuild. Rumours of the local graveyard being upturned by figures in Lycanthrope colours could not be confirmed.

After the game I had the dubious pleasure to speaker to top Nurgle agent Hoary Menieredes. He/it informed me that Pox City were scouting a local leper colony for recruits. “My client is blessed by the pox father. He might not be much to look at, but no one can stop an ogre charge with his face like he can!” High praise indeed.

Now I have to go. The village apothecary would like to examine the rash on my leg. And I feel like I’ve been followed by a man with a pronounced hump…

– scriptina.regular

 

Visit Element Games here (Use the code DAN2300 at Checkout for double points)

For more Blood Bowl action:

Listen to the Two Drunk Flings podcast here

Listen to the Anything But A One podcast here

Waterbowl – Week One Lustria Review

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League Table

# Coach Team Race TV Pld W D L TD Cas Pts
1 cjblackburn Max Deadroom Undead 1030k 1 1 0 0 1 0 3
2 TheGngrNoob Detroit Pox City Nurgle 1030k 1 1 0 0 1 0 3
3 The Martian Lil Green Meanies Orc 1000k 1 0 1 0 0 0 2
4 Jimbob Kracked Toof Orc 1000k 1 0 1 0 0 0 2
5 Ringbeard Guardians of Ghrond Dark Elf 990k 1 0 1 0 0 1 2
6 Chebby Clipstone Coalminers Dwarf 1030k 1 0 1 0 0 -1 2
7 Queek Baltimore Skavens Skaven 960k 1 0 0 1 -1 0 1
8 Tintenfisch I like big bulls and I cannot lie Chaos Dwarf 1030k 1 0 0 1 -1 0 1
9 douglowe I, Eldarius Wood Elf 990k 0 0 0 0 0 0 0
10 narked Manannsheim Buccaneers Human 1000k 0 0 0 0 0 0 0
11* rollingskullz Honest To Gob Goblin 850k 0 0 0 0 0 0 0
12 Isvan The Weather Veins Vampire 1000k 0 0 0 0 0 0 0

*Replaced by Necromantic Team coached by Cammy Shaw

Results

Guardians of Ghrond  1 – 1        Clipstone Coalminers

Lil Green Meanies        1 – 1        Kracked Toof

Max Deadroom             2 – 1        Baltimore Skavens

Detroit Pox City          1 – 0        I Like Big Bulls And I Cannot Lie

 

Week 1 was a tight affair in the Lustria division with only a few Touchdowns in the four games.

Unfortunately we have had a drop out with the goblins being replaced by Necromantic for Week 2. This could mix up the division going forward

 

Week 2 Fixtures

Baltimore Skavens vs Kracked Toof

Both teams will be looking for their first win, while also missing players after tough first week games.

With just one TD each in the first game, this could be a low scorer. Can the Orc line smash through the nimble defenses of the Skaven?

 

Prediction: 1-1

Result: 0-2

 

Clipstone Coalminers vs I Like Big Bulls And I Cannot Lie

Dwarfs take on their Chaotic cousins in what will surely be a brawl!

Bull Centaurs will be the stars of this game if the Chaos Dwarfs are to pull off a win

 

Prediction: 1-2

 

I, Eldarius vs The Weather Veins

Clash of two untested teams. This should be a tricky match for the Vampires, but on their day, they could cut a swathe through the Wood Elf team.

Even if the elfs win, they won’t be without injuries!

 

Prediction: 3-1

Result: 4-0

 

Dapper Lycanthropes vs DETROIT POX CITY

Necromantic vs Nurgle could practically be a shoot out of Werewolfs vs Pestigor, with a stinking mob in the centre!

Unfair for me to make a prediction but I will anyway!

 

Prediction: 0-1

Result: 0-2

 

Max Deadroom vs Manannsheim Buccaneers The Bone Idles

Number one in the league (at this early stage) Undead take on a fresh Human Khemri team. CJblackburn will be looking to carry on the cracking start in what could be a tough game for the Buccaneers Bone Idles

(Human team dropped, replaced by Khemri)

 

Prediction: 2-0 

Result: 2-0 

 

Guardians of Ghrond vs Lil Green Meanies

Dark Elves take on a blooded Orc team, fresh from their Orc on Orc match in week one. Will the missing Witch Elf be a major factor this game?

 

Prediction: 1-1 

Result: 1-1

 

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BRETONNIA DIVISION: Bastard Rats 2 – 4 Rat Scallions

A fast scoring Skaven shootout ended the first half 3-1 to the Scallions.
With 6 Tds and 4 Casualties, this was truly the Game of the Week!

 

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Sponsored by the Two Drunk ‘Flings podcast (Not really)

Waterbowl Halfling News

The Brandywine Custards managed a draw vs Dwarves, an unbelievable result for the hardy halflings.

The Cincinnati Bagels lost their opening game vs Orcs, but should take solace in losing no players and missing only one for the next game.

 

That’s all for this week, but with the fortnightly Waterbowl meet up taking place tomorrow, there will be plenty of action to come

 

Visit Element Games here (Use the code DAN2300 at Checkout for double points)

For more Blood Bowl action:

Listen to the Two Drunk Flings podcast here

Listen to the Anything But A One podcast here

Waterbowl League – Game Week 1

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VS

I Like Big Bulls and I Cannot Lie

 

Week 1 in the Lustria Division of the Waterbowl Premier League. My Nurgle team, Detroit Pox City, took on the Chaos Dwarf team, I Like Big Bulls And I Cannot Lie, coached by Dave Minnis (Tintenfisch).

With one inebriated spectator to give it that Blood Bowl tournament feel, the match was on!

Jim and Bob
Jim and Bob Copyright: Games Workshop

 

Jim Johnson: “Greetings, sports fans! The excitement is electric in the air as we kick off the inaugural game of the Waterbowl Premier League!”

Bob Bifford: “That’s right, Jim. We are looking forward to a few months of violence, madness and occasionally a game of Blood Bowl may breakout.”

Jim: “It’s a beautiful day here as the first game of the blood bowl season begins. On one side we have Detroit Pox City, formerly a touring band and their fan club, now riddled with the diseases of the lifestyle.”

Bob: “Lets just say it’s more than one kind of tackle you should avoid from Belial, their pestigor.”

Jim: “Facing them tonight is the Chaos Dwarf team, I Like Big Bulls And I Cannot Lie. Surprisingly without an aforementioned Big Bull on their team.”

Bob: “Well, it is still Minotaur rutting season, Jim.”

Jim: “That’s not anything we need to witness, or think about, Bob. And here they are standing on the pitch, ready to do battle. I think we’re in for an exciting game.”

Bob: “Eleven thousand fans are here today, although the Nurgle fans seem to have lost their singing voice today.”

Jim: “Hopefully that isn’t contagious, Bob. And the Hobgoblin kicker launches the ball deep into the Nurgle half.”

Bob: “Belial has the ball and a fleshy cage of rotters around him. If he wasn’t ill before, I think he may be soon”

Jim: “As vile as it may seem, that unhygienic mess could be the safest place on the pitch”

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Jim: “That was a collision of half bull, half dwarf and half man, half goat. Truly a bloody mismatch.”

Bob: “Truly an awe inspiring spectacle, Jim. Let’s see if he can pull himself together.”

1 Minute later-

Jim: “Out on the rancid sideline the Bull Centaur falls over three of his four feet and lands face first in the astrogranite!”

Bob: “They’ll be finding his teeth for weeks, Jim!”

-3 Minutes later-

Bob: “It’s carnage in the centre of the pitch, punches and headbuts thrown, a great extravaganza!”

Jim: “There’s an opening, Bob. Maybe that Rotter was an elf in a former life, because he’s breaking down the backfield….The ball goes skyward….And it is caught by the rotter…and it is a TOUCHDOWN!”

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Bob: “Lets see if they can untangle those Hobgoblins from Beth the Beast before kick off”

1-0

-HALF TIME-

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Jim: “The half time entertainment today brought to us by Hard Block Cafe.”

Bob: “The hard block on the pestigor seems to have been shaken off. Amazing resilience.”

Jim: “That or the masses of maggots holding him together. They’re back on the pitch for the second half. Can the Chaos Dwarfs make a comeback?”

Bob: “And we are off!” 

Jim: “The Hobgoblins are scurrying about trying to move the ball down the field. Will the bloated green line stop their attack?”

-1 Minute later-

Bob: “Belial had that Hobgoblin in his sights with that blitz. He skewered him, Jim!”

Jim: “That is a delicacy in the Southlands, Bob.”

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-3 Minutes later-

Bob: “Stomping players may be against the rules, but that hasn’t stopped that Hobgoblin from doing it.”

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Jim: “If you aren’t cheating, you aren’t trying, Bob. And if the referee doesn’t see it, all the better.”

-8 Minutes later-

Jim: “With more tentacles than a Nipponese market, Beth is causing trouble for the I Like Big Bulls and I Cannot Lie team.”

Bob: “That team name is a mouthful, and a mouthful of fist is what Ace the Bloater just got from that Blocker!”

Jim: “He’s lost teeth there, but the Chaos Dwarf team have lost the game! The referee blows the whistle for the end of the game!”

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Final Thoughts

Started the league off well. Next match scheduled is against Goblins, which may not be as high scoring as my 3-2 epic in the Waterbowl Tournament.

After the first night of games the Lustria division looks like this:

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#
Coach
Team
Race
TV
Pld
W
D
L
TD
Cas
Pts
1
TheGngrNoob
Detroit Pox City
Nurgle
1030k
1
1
0
0
1
0
3
2
cjblackburn
Max Deadroom
Undead
1030k
1
1
0
0
1
0
3
3
Tintenfisch
I like big bulls and I cannot lie
Chaos Dwarf
1030k
1
0
0
1
-1
0
0
4
Queek
Baltimore Skavens
Skaven
960k
1
0
0
1
-1
0
0
5
douglowe
I, Eldarius
Wood Elf
990k
0
0
0
0
0
0
0
6
Ringbeard
Guardians of Ghrond
Dark Elf
1000k
0
0
0
0
0
0
0
7
narked
Manannsheim Buccaneers
Human
1000k
0
0
0
0
0
0
0
8
The Martian
Lil Green Meanies
Orc
990k
0
0
0
0
0
0
0
9
Chebby
Clipstone Coalminers
Dwarf
1000k
0
0
0
0
0
0
0
10
rollingskullz
Honest To Gob
Goblin
850k
0
0
0
0
0
0
0
11
Jimbob
Kracked Toof
Orc
970k
0
0
0
0
0
0
0
12
Isvan
The Weather Veins
Vampire
1000k
0
0
0
0
0
0
0

So I am in a division with some of the top Blood Bowl players in the country. I’ll aim for 4th place and be happy for an above :500 record

 

Visit Element Games here (Use the code DAN2300 at Checkout for double points)

For more Blood Bowl action:

Listen to the Two Drunk Flings podcast here

Listen to the Anything But A One podcast here

Exploring the Mirrored City

Lucky Me

In my spare time I like to have a flutter on the football. I won a little bet (£93 in my pocket) so bought the Shadespire starter set.

The rules are simple enough to learn, the cards make it complex, the models are amazingly sculpted. All in all it was a great purchase.

First Match

As i couldn’t get to a gaming store, my first game was against my 10 year old. As a veteran of 100s of Pokemon battles, he easily picked up the rules.

Me as Khorne

Him as Stormcast

The first match went with his tactics being to turtle up and claim objectives. My tactics were to load up Saek and chop everything!

I won. Yes, it was against a child, but as Vin Diesel says..

Image result for fast and furious winning is winning meme

 

Picking a Warband

After my debut match of Shadespire I was inspired to paint up my Ironskull’s Boyz. Foregoing the standard colour scheme (Yellow? Seriously?) I used these as the test models for my future Orks project.

Still only at tabletop level, they will do while I get some games in

Ironskulls 1
The Ladz

 

Ironskulls 2
Hakka – My favourite of the sculpts

 

Ironskulls 3
Gurzag and Basha

 

Ironskulls 4
Bonekutta

 

Da Boyz Voyage Forth

With deck advice from the fantastic Facebook Shadespire Community, I now have a basic understanding on the deckbuilding aspect of the game.

And of course I had to find a related podcast. For this it was Claim The City, an excellent resource.

Now to buy up the other warbands for cards and minis.

Afterall, no such thing as too many different games, right?

 

Visit Element Games here (Use the code DAN2300 at Checkout for double points)

Listening to Claim the City podcast here